It has been since I last bought yarn!

Saturday, April 14, 2007

I Feel So Stupid

So, today was the big day of my "Knitwear and Sweater Design" class and I was really excited.

I had to wake up at the unholy hour of 6:20, so that I could be out the door by 7:05, to catch my train to the city at 7:32. (On a weekend, any hour prior to 11 am is unholy.) I was a little groggy, a little sleepy, but all in all, I made it out the door and was on time and I happily knit my sock all the way to the city.

I got to the class about 10 minutes early, I was about the 4th to arrive and I'll admit, something just didn't seem right. The girls in the class room didn't seem like knitters. I know that's a pretty general comment to be making since ANYONE can be knitters... but here was just this vibe, you know? When I went to my Certified Instructor course, I walked into a room of people knitting... in this room, no one had anything other than paper and a pen.I remained calm though- knowing that a lot of times I get really nervous for no apparent reason and then I get all hypersensitive. I chalked it up to insecurity and braved through.

Sure enough, the istructor walks in and she starts putting out different types of yarn on the desk- and she tells us that yes, the other instructor is ARNETTA... whom I have deemed the "Knitting Goddess" from my Certified course. At this point I breathe a sigh of relief. I am in the right class. I am over-reacting. I am reading into a room without knowing the history.

When the class finally starts we are asked to go around the room introducing ourselves and our background. This is when I knew I was in trouble... BIG trouble. I was nearly the last person to introduce myself- so I had to sit through the rest of the introductions. (Thankfully there were only 10 people in the class.) Everyone in that room was a designer for a major label, (Cole Haan, Eileen Fisher, Kenneth Cole, NYC and Company etc) or coming up with their own line. EVERYONE in the room had been to fashion school. They were there to learn about machine knitting and mass produced industry garmets, they were using terminology that I didn't even know, asking about jersey material and machines that I have never even heard of.

Imagine my horror when I introduce myself "Hi, I'm Jen, and I'm a hand knitter-- and I'm hear to learn about the finer details of creating and modifying patterns as well as more details about different kinds of yarns." Both instuctors kind of looked at me like "What?" And, Arnetta even asked me if I was sure this was the class I wanted, and I said "Yes", thinking positively that it was still going to cover both aspects, hand knit and machine knit.

And then the lecture starts and I realize how truely screwed I was. The whole class is about dealing with the manufacturer, the process the manufacturer uses and I sat there for 3 hours, willing the lunch break to come so I could make my hasty retreat. The class wasn't about DESIGNING A PATTERN and Yarn/Wool information, it was designing for a label, and using the very fine fabrics and knitting machines and making mass orders. I got NOTHING out those 3 hours. Nothing.

So, finally the lunch break comes and I have to make the very embarressing walk up to the front of the class and explain to the instructors that I am very mistaken about what I thought I was taking and that I'm totally out of my league. Arnetta is very kind and I tell her that I'll see her on Thursday and she assures me we can cover my desire to learn pattern designing aspects then. I then explain that there's no point my sitting in the class for the afternoon and we all agree I should attempt at getting a refund.

IF I get a refund... which I'm very scared I'm not goinng to get. (*sigh $185)Honestly the description in the course calendar is a little vague and it COULD be mis-read: This intensive workshop is for industry professionals and highly experienced knitters seeking knowledge about how to design sweaters. The program concentrates on all of the steps necessary to becoming a knitwear designer. Using both lecture and demonstration, fiber basics and stitch fundamentals are covered. How to present designs from concept to production is included along with a look at some of the current computer-aided design programs available. This is why I clarified with the person when I registered. I remember specifically asking "IS THIS A HAND KNIT CLASS and NOT AN INDUSTRY CLASS" and she assured me that it was in fact for hand knitters. I will be pushing that point hard... because I ASKED and was given misleading information.

I'm mostly embarressed about this- because I'm sure everyone was wondering "What the hell is she doing here?" I'm also sure everyone in there thought I was a complete idiot because how could I NOT know that this class was for industry types. Honestly people- I thought I did know.... I am confident that I'm an advanced knitter, I was ready for the next step. I'm also embarressed because a LOT of my friends and family knew I was going to take this course and now I have to tell them about this mis-communication and I'm going to sound like a complete idiot. Also, I feel bad because my husband was so sweet about me taking this class, and being proud of me and telling people that it was something I was doing... and now.. nothing. He's not angry at me, (in fact he's been very sweet trying to cheer me up and tell me it's not my fault), but it felt good to be doing something that he was bragging to HIS friends about, instead of me just bragging about him all the time.

I'm also extremely disappointed. I really wanted to take a class like this. I was really looking forward to it and I was so excited when I got up on the train this morning. I'm trying to be positive, and look on the bright side that I'm still going to get this instruction, but I'm just feeling let down at the moment and really, REALLY stupid. Ugh. I know I shouldn't let this bother me... nor should I let it deter me from still getting out there and trying things, despite the risks. But right now... I'm just feeling like a big fat idiot... and need to vent.

Also- as an aside note, when I walked out of the room I felt like shouting "I KNEW you weren't knitters!"

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