It has been since I last bought yarn!

Monday, May 26, 2014

Hitting the Wall

Guys I just hit the perverbial wall.  It couldn't have happened at a worse time.

You know, "THE WALL", right?  The wall is where you wake up one morning and you're like "ugh- I cannot do this anymore".  I'm just done with everything I'm working on and I don't want to knit anything it if means knitting on those items again.  The problem with THE WALL is that I don't even want to start something new- I just want to stop. all. of. it.  I don't want to knit ANYTHING.  (*gasps* *clutches pearls in horror*)

The circular blanket is off the needles.  Tah DAH.

(Oh hai!  I need blocking!)

There were some tense moments, I won't lie.  I ordered a 3rd "safety skein" just to be on the safe side and just as I was casting off- I did need to knit into that 3rd ball.  It was so close- I just barely had to use anything from that 3rd ball- but I did.

(You can see how close I came- so few stitches left to cast off- and yet I had to nip into that ball!)

I'm so glad I wove in the ends when I did because the minute this came off the needles- THE WALL slammed me in the face.  All that needs to be done is blocking.  And I just can't bring myself to do it.  It doesn't help that the baby this was intended for turned out to be a boy, and all of sudden I'm second guessing this as the right gift.  I worry it might be too feminine.  I had always intended this as an heirloom type of project, but suddenly I have cold feet about giving it to the little boy.  I still have the Welsh Blanket and I'm thinking about giving that to him instead.

Part of me wonders if I am secretly hanging on to this blanket because I want to put it in the Stampede.  Part of me wonders if I'm making up excuses to not gift it to save it for that.  The other part of me DOES wonder if it's too feminine and to go with something else.  THE WALL is clouding all of my judgement.  So, instead of making ANY decisions and moving forward I haven't done anything with it.  The damn WALL is a real killer guys.

THE WALL is also killing me on the mystery Stampede project.  I procured better, squishier yarn and cast on again- I knit about 25 rows and ripped it out and went down a needle size.  Rinse, lather, repeat.  I have just restarted this project again (3rd time!), on even smaller needles and already I've hit an issue today.  After doing everything I could think of to NOT knit, I finally sat down to knit only to get about 6 rows in and realize I'd made a mistake.

(Do yah see it?!)

Immediately THE WALL was like "put it away- go do something else... [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE] knitting is such a crappy frustrating hobby just WALK AWAY FROM IT ALL."  I literally forced myself to rip out to the error and at AT LEAST knit back to where I had started that day.  It's not much- but at least I can sit down and plow forward whenever the mood strikes... IF it strikes at all.

The thing is- I don't want to do it.  I don't want to work on this.  I'm not sure if I've just over-thought this to death and beat the dead horse 6 feet into the ground and now I'm just tired of the whole thing or what- but my enthusiasm is gone.  Stupid Wall.

As I've mentioned this couldn't have happened at a worse time.  My goal was to have everything COMPLETED and entered by June 1.  The absolute latest I have is until June 19 to enter and June 25th is the take in day.  And for whatever STUPID REASON I tell myself there's plenty of time to stall.  THERE IS NOT PLENTY OF TIME TO STALL.  I repeat- I NEED TO GET MY BUTT IN GEAR.

Someone come over and get my butt in gear?

Maybe it's that it is finally, after the worst, longest, [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE] winter ever- the weather is finally nice.  Who wants to stay inside and knit when they can go to the park or go pick dandelions?

(Kids really DO make you stop and sniff the flowers... even if they're weeds)

Who has TIME to knit when you have a million years of yard work to do!?

(Isn't my yard pretty right now!?  The blossoms are so lovely, even if they're making it impossible for me to breathe from all the scent they give off.)

I don't know what to tell ya.  I haven't just hit THE WALL, I've smacked myself so hard up against it I'm worried I'm embedded in!  I will eventually find myself wandering back into the knitting again.  I'm not worried that this is a permanent affliction, I'm just worried that I won't get away from THE WALL in time and all my hard work won't be done in time for Stampede- and that would be a shame.  I mean for goodness sakes- I opted to BLOG tonight instead of knit.  (That's when you really know I'm procrastinating.)

Send mojo.  Send calming vibes.  Send a DAMN WRECKING BALL!  Just get me away from this wall!!!


Anonymous said...

Tomorrow is going to be a rainy day ..... perfect for knitting and listening to a good book! Mil

Mary said...

How very sad Jen! Take a break from knitting but not forever....