"Do you even knit anymore?" It was the comment my husband made 2 weeks ago while we were away re-visiting New Haven and I couldn't hide what I had pretending to ignore for the last few weeks. I haven't really been knitting. I'm back in the slump.
Honestly I don't even really know what I've been doing with my time- but it's very little knitting. I'm not sure what it is right now. I just don't have the brain power to sit down and knit. At night I sit on our couch, I pull my knitting on my lap, and then proceed to ignore it for use-less stuff on my phone. I've been watching TV... something I never do. I listen. I watch my knitting. I'm always furiously working on a Stampede project this time of year and not even that can motivate me out of slump this time. I'm not entering. I don't want to. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It could be that we've been away from our home the last 5 weekends out of 6. Week days seem to be in a never ending game of catch up from things not done on the weekend. My brain can't focus on anything. I zone in and out and knitting even the simplest pair of socks seems like such an effort. Mon-Thurs night are busy with soccer and other activities and it feels like we're barely home.
That's not to say that I've gone completely without it. Progress is happening. I still take the simple Take 5 sock out to some of Parker's classes and that does seem to help me get some rows in. Being away for the last few weekends has meant airplane trips and I'll knit 5 or 6 rows before sitting back and putting it away because my brain "just can't." It's been enough to get me on sock #2.
Maudie has suffered spectacularly. I don't think it's seen any progress since my last blog post so many days ago. The mere idea of taking it out of the bag and taking the 3 minutes it would take to assess where I'm at is too overwhelming. What happened to all my steam on this project? Where have you gone mojo?
The baby blanket I needed to have already started is still in "I can't decided on a pattern" phase. Although I think I'm honed in on an idea. I'm waiting for a book from the library and then hopefully enough juju to get out the door and buy yarn and cast on. I've chosen something painfully cute but also simple... because my brain can't handle any more than that. A simple knit can sometimes be the right project to rally the knitting mojo. I've also been made aware of another impending wee babe in November who I would also like to knit for. I sort of know what I want to knit for that family but I also shudder at the thought because it would require effort I don't know I'm up to putting in.
I need to get out of this slump. Last night, sitting on the couch about to watch TV I even found myself missing it. I thought to myself "I miss my knitting." And, just like that, I picked up the simple sock and worked on it for 3 hours. It was good. I felt hopeful that the slump is winding down. I thought about a few things I could do. Here are my "Goals to July 15" to try and get me towards some progress and less in a slump.
1) Knit baby blanket (I'll share more when I have committed with yarn and a cast on)
2) Knit baby hat/booties for Parker's Kindergarten teacher
3) Finish Take 5 Socks
4) Knit Dishcloth #3
I'm letting go of Maudie for now. Maybe this summer I'll pick it back up again- but maybe just the idea of a "big effort" project is too much right now and I need to take this slump slower. Ease myself into something to do with my hands and see if I can rise to a few new challenges along the way.
I'm sorry that it means that the blog has suffered. I really have no intention on fully stopping the knitting- nor this blog, but I've learned forcing myself to do anything is the sure-est way to not actually get myself to do it. I have to WANT to do it. And for that to be something I want right now, I need to keep it simple.
Cross your fingers I'm back here in a week with something to show you?