It has been since I last bought yarn!

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

The No Good, Very Bad Day

**WARNING** This blog entry contains graphic pictures and content that may be disturbing to some knitters. The writer of this blog will not be held responsible for any therapy you may require upon viewing these images.

So- I bought yarn for my sweater design class- and here it is, pictured below.

Yes... it is pretty isn't it? It's a lovely 50%silk, 50% cotton blend from Italy, procured at School Products in New York. (Mental note to mother-in-law $15 cashmere hanks!!!!!!!!!!!!! We may need to detour there on your visit!) The problem is, I wasn't really thinking with my head, (in this case my Amex was doing all the talking), and I failed to notice how the hank was wound.

This is an extremely crappy picture to give you an idea of where the disaster occured. You see the hank is doubled, and criss crossed over each other- making placing the hank on a swift IMPOSSIBLE. So, when I went to place the first hank on the swift this occurred- (AGAIN, I warn the sensitive to exercise caution)

The hank split. (You just gasped, didn't you?) And, as I began to pull out the single strands of yarn- the knots started. (The picture below is rated "R" for REALLY bad) For those non-knitters who are reading this let me explain what has happened here. I was pulling out a yarn end and as it went through the hank, it gets tangled, and tangled and tangled and tangled and tangled and tangled.

The only thing to do to remedy this situation, (beside cut into the mess 96 zillion times, rendering the hank utterly uselss), is to slowly, one strand at a time- untangle the mess. If you've ever done this- it takes H.O.U.R.S. It takes patience. It takes ALCOHOL to cope.

Below you see the yarn, spread out over my entire living room floor- so that it will not tangle while you're un-tangling the other mess. (You would not believe yarn's ability to untangle and TANGLE again when you're not looking.)

Over the NEXT. SEVEN. HOURS. (I wish I was exaggerating- I am not) I proceeded to untangle. I'm not going to lie. I'm no hero. There may have been some tears. There may have been some swearing. There may have been a bottle of wine opened. Seven hours of painstakingly pulling a strand of yarn and untangling it from a ridculous knot over and over again is enough to make anyone insane.

Above is progress-- around hour 4. More untangling.... more cursing, more tears, more alcohol. At this point the husband had the AUDACITY to come in and suggest I step away from the nightmare for a while. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS MAN?! SUGGESTING THAT I LEAVE A DISASTER LIKE THIS AND STEP AWAY TO CLEAR MY SANITY!? IS HE ALSO INSANE!? DOESN'T HE KNOW THAT I AM SUFFERING THROUGH THE WORST NIGHTMARE OF MY LIFE AND NEED TO SUFFER IN LOUD, ESAPERATED SIGHS AND SWEARS!? (As you can see here emotions are still a little raw.)

Success... sort of. I eventually sucked up my pride and cut into the hank of yarn, so instead of one ball I have three- but I think it's a miracle that I didn't end up cutting and having more balls. I'm not sure WHAT I'm going to do with the remaining SIX hanks of yarn that I'm going to have to attempt to wind into balls. I'm absolutely TERRIFIED at the possibility of spending six more days untangling rats' nests. *shudder*

In the mean time, I'm going to knit a gauge swatch and focus on happier things and try not and think about what will happen when I run out of yarn.

*sigh* Moral of the story-- don't take your Amex to School House Products.

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