Let's start at the beginning.
In the last week or so, I've kind of hit a wall on this project. I'm tired of dealing with endless bobbins. I look at the number of ends to weave in and I just feel so UN-INSPIRED about the whole thing. I just needed to finish. I need to move on to the next steps and move on to a new project in general.
I didn't even want to knit last night. I'm tired, I'm at the tail end of a cold and I'm mildly addicted to a new iphone game (Bookworm Heroes!) I'm playing with my sister and I thought "no, I'm going to just sit on the couch and not knit this thing tonight." The only thing that motivated me to pull the needles out was that I was so close to the end of the final "extreme bobbin" color stage that I thought, "just finish that" and I can relax. Plus the knitting getting significantly easier when it's just blue/green etc. And so I knit the final 5 rows of the color repeat.
Something had been bothering me all afternoon about the side orange item count. I thought I recalled going to 21 stitches last time, not the 15 I was getting. I have NO IDEA why I just ignored this concern and kept going. I have no idea why it didn't click in with me that THIS WAS A MAJOR MAJOR PROBLEM. But it didn't. Not until I finished the final white color row that I realized that I should also be finishing the side orange rows... but I wasn't. I was missing 4 rows there.
Then it hit me- in one foul, ugly, sickening, gut wrenching swoop. I started the orange side things too late. I need to rip out 18 rows of stitches.
(You can sort of see here that the top "orange blob" is slightly off kilter to the other orange blobs.)
Hang on- I just need to go sob in a corner again...
Normally, I am not one adverse to yanking the needle out and just pulling out the rows quickly to fix the issue. I can't do that here. Let me illustrate why:
And so I begin to tink. Quite franky I don't know where this leaves me. I've told myself to go back, rip out to the start of the mistake and walk away for a day or two. Knit a May hat, or pull out the stripey blanket, or something that doesn't make me want to sob uncontrollably. But I'm un-motivated. I'm full of loathing and anger now. I worry walking away from this project means I won't ever walk back. I'm not sure the million ends to weave in and bobbins to deal with are going to bring me back.
We are starting a home renno in June. I had told myself that this blanket needed to be done before that started- as my brain will be too unorganized to do anything else. It's going to take me at least a day if not more to tink these rows back. (By the time I wind/untwist etc, it takes me as long to remove the row as it would have to knit it.) I don't know if I can finish now.
I'm lost on this one. I can feel myself giving up. I'm going to fight the feeling but I'll be honest... I'm not sure what's going to happen.
Send me some knitting mojo?