Apocolypse Now

I don't even know where to begin.

I picked up the purple stripey blanket a couple of days ago and I made progress.  I just said "this needs to be done" and so I knit like a fiend and I nearly doubled my progress in a matter of days.

Before....

This week...

Impressive non?

In fact I was burning through this blanket so quickly that I told myself that if I had 30 inches of blanket knit by June 18 I'd even make it a last minute entry in the Stampede.  (Which in itself was a ridiculous goal- but I've never really been known for my knitting sanity now have I?)

Do you notice anything different in those photos back there?

Tonight at knitting I was quietly knitting away on my project when a lovely member of my group wanted to get a closer look.  When she did she asked an honestly simple question "how did you get that stitch?"  When I went to answer her, I got a sick feeling in my stomach.  The pattern requires you to wrap the yarn 3 times around the needle on the white garter rows in order to stretch over the band of color.

GUESS WHAT I DIDN'T BLOODY DO FOR THE ENTIRE TIME I GOT BACK TO KNITTING THIS BLANKET?!?

*@#&%^*#&%^@)#(%$#(@*$&^$!)(*$(#@*&^$!@*&%$_@!)#(*$&@#*&^@#%*&^@#(!!!!

Nearly TEN inches of progress knit entirely wrong.

(The above picture shows the backwards view of the situation.  To get an idea of how much I have to rip out- I'd have to start at the 12" mark and rip out all of that.)

RIGHT PATTERN (with wrapped stitches)

$&*@(+# WRONG PATTERN (with slipped stitches)

(%(*@&^% !O#$(#((!*&*&#$)#*&^%&@:":#$?>#$@)$#$?><>>"}{}{$@$!!!!!!!

I have been merely slipping the stitch the entire time I have been patting myself on the back for being a fast and brilliant knitter.

I honestly don't know what I'm going to do now.  I could rip out all of that painstaking work, hours of my precious time gone.  BUT- that in itself would be an enormous pain in the ass because, trying to be good about not leaving myself too many ends to weave in - I HAVE ALREADY WOVEN IN THE ENDS.

*sobs hysterically*

The kind knitters of my group have consoled me and told me it's not that noticeable.  And truthfully it's not half bad- except this gift was intended for another knitter.  SOMEONE who would actually probably notice that "hey- this is different".  And while she isn't likely the kind of person who would look at the error and throw it back in my face and call our friendship off- I just can't give it to her.  I just can't.

Before you try to tell me I can and it's not that noticeable... I. JUST. CAN'T.  Don't try to tell me I can.  I know me well enough to know.  I CANNOT DO IT.  (I suffer from too much pride, too much perfectionism and too much anal rententive-ness... I am who I am.)

So that leaves me with a huge dilema because I honestly don't know what to do.  Here are the options:

1) Knit the same amount of the wrong pattern as the right pattern, then switch back to the right pattern so that the "wrong slipped stitch" pattern is in the middle of the blanket and the blanket has a little bit of symmetry.  (Truthfully I actually prefer the look of the WRONG pattern to the right one... but that doesn't really help me out of my jam all that much.)

2) Finish knitting this as it is, don't rip anything back and gift it to a non-knitter who wouldn't really notice that I'm a moron.

3) Painstakingly un-weave all those ends and rip back the 10 inches and start again, following the pattern correctly this time.  (You should know that even considering this option makes me want to cry my eyes out and develop a drinking problem...)

4) New Yarn- new project and knit fast.  (Oh yeah... did I mention baby is due July 15?)

5) Give up knitting and find a new hobby that will not always break my heart and crush my soul like this.

As of this writing I don't have a plan.  I'm still in shock that I've done this.  I'm in shock that I could have let something like this happen.  I just can't believe I did this.

And I just can't see my way to a solution right now.  The blanket has to go into time out - in a nice dark hole so that it can sit and think about what it's done and how poorly it's behaved.  A year of time out is probably not enough.  FOREVER, at this point, is not enough time away to look at this blanket with a clear head.

And that's where I'm leaving you today- because I honestly don't know where to go from here.

I hear crocheting is nice........